Thanks for joining me for the journey that was, and still is, our Waiting For A Miracle Page. I will keep that page updated where needed, but I wanted to steer our, or rather my, blogging in a different direction, to talk about ‘mum life’ in an authentic and genuine way, without the perfection that is so often the case on social media.
In October 2016, as I embarked on a new chapter as a ‘first time’ mother my life changed forever. I discovered that this thing called motherhood is often portrayed in an idealistic way, and then those of us who are struggling at times (let’s face it, we ALL struggle at times) feel like we are failing at this mum gig.
Well, I’ve been on this particular journey for 18 months now with this little guy and I can tell you that our journey, although particularly more challenging than many, has been tough. This motherhood gig is the most wonderful blessing I’ve been given, yet at the same time so challenging. I’ve wanted to share for a while about the realities of life as a mother, the real everyday stuff that no-one really talks about, but I didn’t feel our Waiting For A Miracle page was the right platform for it.
So here I am, sharing my perspective on life as it is, no make-up to cover up the blemishes. Because really, life is beautiful as it is so why cover it up. I hope that this blog can bring light to others, that our struggles, and failures can make you laugh until you cry, because that is the best medicine and way to overcome some situations.
I hope that as I share openly, that you will not judge, but instead that we can all embrace this gig called parenthood together, and support each other. For those reminiscing about the past, may it make you chuckle as your recall your own parenting wins and fails, and for those currently in the cyclone that is parenthood, may we together laugh at our own parenting wins and fails, because failure is just another chance to try again.
And what better day to ‘launch’ this page than on Mother’s Day. Last night, as I was washing the bottles so I could get a bottle for bed for my overtired toddler, I heard the pitter patter of his footsteps coming towards me. As I looked down to him, his face looked up at mine as he said “Muma” with arms outstretched lifting up a blue gift box to me. My heart melted. The exhaustion lifted for a brief moment as I held back my happy tears, my eyes filling with tears. My love, my son, my miracle. Those eyes. To hear that word. Muma. I wouldn’t trade anything for this.
Today I think about so many who struggle. The first Mother’s Day without Mum for some. The first Mother’s Day without your child. Or maybe another Mother’s Day without a mum or a child or a grandmother or a sister or an aunt or a friend or a wife. Or maybe another Mother’s Day turning off social media because you yearn for a child and still, this dream is empty and the pain has turned to numbness.
Or perhaps this is your first Mother’s Day with your child and you are struggling but you’re putting on that smile and trying to convince everyone that you’re fine.
I want you to know, you’re amazing. Yes you. You are so amazing. You get up each day and you try again. Keep trying. Keep living. You’re a blessing in this world and you have a purpose.
Every Mother’s Day was a day I would look forward to so I could celebrate my mum, yet dread because of the indescribable pain that was so heavy in my heart. And whilst we have 6 babies in heaven who I often wonder about, that pain is still there for them. But this beautiful blessing that is my son has healed my brokenness. God gave us the most wonderful blessing when He chose us to Jeremiah’s parents. When He chose me to be JD’s mother. All those years of wilderness were spent preparing me for this moment. For this role to guide my son as he grows. And I am forever grateful for the lessons I learned and the friends that I made. For the pain that we endured so that I can honestly mean it when I walk alongside a friend as they grieve their own loss and say, “I’m here for you.”
So on this very special day, let us acknowledge those who have a heavy heart. You are not forgotten. You are loved and you matter. I pray that you will find peace and comfort.
And let us acknowledge those who have the role of a mother. You sacrifice with your every breath. Thank you. Thank you for loving with everything you have. For the sleepless nights. For the loneliness that you may feel as a result of trying to be everything to everyone. Thank you. Look after yourself too please.
And to my Mum. Thank you. Thank you for loving and sacrificing so much for me and for my sisters. Thank you doesn’t seem enough, but I am so blessed to be your daughter.
To my mother in love. Thank you for raising your son in such a way that he has grown to be a wonderful father to our boy and a loving husband to me.
To my grandmothers. Thank you for raising your children so that I could have such wonderful parents. Thank you.
Happy Mother’s Day everyone. And thanks for joining me on this new chapter.
“It takes a village to raise a child” and a sisterhood to support a mother.